With continuing woes of volcanic eruptions and a failed economy, Iceland has returned to the practice of human sacrifice in hopes to placate both the volcano and the EU, whose air traffic has been seriously curtailed due to tons of ash spewed into the atmosphere.
"We are really, really, really, really sorry," stated Prime Minister Johanna Sigurdardottir in a press release today given to Sidwaya, beloved newspaper of Ouagadougouans everywhere. "In order to make it up to the world, we have selected Bjork to be the first human sacrifice. Only because she's the only Icelander that anybody's ever heard of..."
Ears around